Pirates of the Carabiner: An Adult Panto

PIRATES OF THE CARABINER: An Adult Panto From the team that brought you: Star Whores, The Hunger Gays & The Lord of the Rims Abandon all good taste and set sail for the naughtiest night out of 2026. The blockbuster pirate saga you know and love is joyfully plundered, pillaged, and thrown overboard in this outrageous adults only, Christmas parody. The sheltered Elezabeth Swan lives the easy life in high society. A sexually confused Willy Turner thinks he's in love with Lez. And the sexy Captain Jack Swallows is in need of some semen… sorry sea men…. But their Christmas plans are turned upside down when Pirates come to their small town. Faced with the allure of sexy pirates, Lez and the lovesick Willy are off on an adventure on the high sea's. With Jack as their guide, they'll swashbuckle themselves in, to save Christmas from the evil Captain Barboobsa, Davy Bones, and their colonial overlords. Will Lez become the pirate queen? Will Jack and Willy snog on the poop deck? And why is the rum gone? Join us to find out. Expect sexy pirates, scandalous innuendo, pop bangers, chaotic comedy, and festive foolishness served with a heavy pour of rum and absolutely no shame in TwoBox's annual alternative Panto, returning to the Two Brewers in Clapham. Whether you’re escaping the family, celebrating with friends, or just in desperate need of a festive night, this swashbuckling parody promises big laughs, high camp, and a holiday hangover you’ll never forget.